if only we could wake up soon and scream.

2008-04-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm still alive. Fascinating isn't it.

2008-02-08T02:00:00.000+08:00

who says you can't have two blogs?

leather gloves and a warm scarf.

2008-01-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

"Life has been some combination of fairy-tale coincidence and joie de vivre and shocks of beauty together with some hurtful self-questioning. And I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad."

I choose the former. :)

Flying off in less than 4 hours. What better way to explore Europe than during winter and with your best friend? :D The only drawback about the trip is I'll be leaving on the night where Avenged Sevenfold will be performing in Brixton!!!! Why do I always miss my favourite bands just by a narrow bit whenever I'm in London? A year back it was The Birthday Massacre, now it has to be A7X. Sigh. Plus I won't be able to make it back to Singapore in time to catch Dream Theater. :( Although, getting to see my sunshine more than makes up for everything. hehe. Okay, have a splendid new year and I'll see all you beautiful people soon! :)))

2007-12-21T03:30:00.000+08:00

this is more than my heart can take.

Vignettes of my Life Post-As. [Part 2]

2007-12-18T01:09:00.000+08:00

It has been a depressing week.
I need something uplifting.
Pictures!

Phuket Vacation:
We rented a private yacht out to sea and boy, was it an experience. It cost us SGD $10,000 for 2 days and I was complaining to Daddy how I could have used that sum of money for my SUP EUROPE TOUR '08 with shisei instead!

No regrets though, the islands we'd visited and the beautiful beautiful corals and sea creatures we saw while snorkelling were incredible. Plus I love having the wind blowing in my hair and soaking up the warm sunshine while lying on the top deck. It's such an amazing feeling. :D

Nights were spent dining at seafood restaurants, exploring the streets littered with millions of make-shift stalls, shopping and bargaining like mad, getting our hair beaded, tuk tuk rides and seeing uh, she-mans or bapoks if you will (they're fucken gorgeous!!) parading in sexy lingerie and badgering potential clients haha.

Mmm the Thai people there are always so darn happy all the freaking time, it's a bit creepy if you ask me lol. I was a bit disappointed because there were no full-moon parties but on the whole the trip had been loads of fun and I can't wait to return soon! :)))

His brother has the same drunken swagger, but they loved him.

2007-12-15T08:11:00.000+08:00

What do you say to a mother who had just lost her son?
Or a wife who had just lost her husband?
Or cousins who had just lost their father?

It is times like these that words completely fail me.

I'm off. Tis the seventh day.

Xibalba.

2007-12-12T01:43:00.000+08:00

The thick smell of flowers and heavy medication. The scent of the sick, the dying and of death. We lost someone tonight. What a papery life.

Promise and Potential are very fickle.

2007-12-11T17:23:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think the news media has a big part to play for every flaw in American history, be it in Vietnam, Rwanda, Somalia, or Iraq.

Excerpt from Lions For Lambs,
argument between two TV journalists:
Janine Roth (character played by Meryl Streep);

"If we don't do this Howard, who is going to do it? This IS the job. This politician, this journalist, everybody that says, "Oh well, if only we'd known then what we know now." It's bullshit, it's bullshit. It was all right there, we knew it. If we had bothered to connect the dots. But we didn't, did we? We just roll over."

Quite true, don't you think?

In other matters, I'm going to be at the max pavilion at 8pm. Yeah I'm attending MCR's concert, don't judge me! I've got tickets for onlyyy $25 you see. Plus Gerard's cute, in a dark-and-broody-but-sexy-and-vampire-rish sort of way.

Vignettes of My Life Post-As. [Part 1]

2007-12-11T10:17:00.000+08:00

Hell of a night.

"Give me the gun!"

2007-12-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

April 16th 2007,
Blacksburg, United States
Virginia Tech Massacre:
33 dead, 25 injured.

November 7th 2007,
Tuusula, Finland
Jokela School Shooting:
9 dead, 13 injured.

We've lost 42 students this year, and this comprises of only two incidents. If you had known the victims on a personal basis, that's like losing two fucking classes of friends.

So who's at fault?

Society and the media attributes it to violent video games, the television, poverty, racial hatred, poor upbringing and a whole list of other things. I, on the other hand, believe firmly that the number one blame should go to America's Bill of Rights. Or more pointedly, the 2nd Amendment. The right to keep and bear arms would nestle well with NRA members, but not with me.

Five thousand years ago, a drunk angry person could try to kill in a fit of rage, but would be limited by the means at hand. Today, that same person could march straight into Wal mart and storm out with an assortment of different killing machines; handguns, shotguns, rifles, automatic weapons, hand grenades, magazines and 101 kinds of ammunition. (choose your pick)

So, it naturally goes to show that the ready availability of arms increases the probability of lethal violence. What may have been a fist fight becomes a murder. This coupled with the rising tide of fear in people's hearts in recent years due to terrorism further sets America on a future for trouble, as exemplified by how guns sales surged by over 70% after the 9/11 attacks. (although sometimes I wonder how those M-16s are going to prevent the kamikazes from bombing your hometown?)

Let's talk about the Columbine high school massacre. I hear governors and mayors and the news network and parents blaming Marilyn Manson. (I know I may be a fan but I'm looking at this issue with an unbiased eye) Still, I don't understand. So parents, it is not okay for your kids to listen to heavy metal or industrial music, but it is okay to stock weapons that could potentially kill someone in the house? I think the top reason why he's regarded as an instigator for the incident is simply because he is an easy scapegoat for problems associated with teenage crime and suicide, after all Manson IS the anti-thesis of society.

And can anybody tell me how ironic it is to have Bill Clinton offer his condolences when just an hour before, he was instructing 22 missiles to be dropped on civilian residential areas in the Kosovo War?

Ooo he's not the biggest dick around. Introducing Mr. Charlton Heston:

This guy thought it would be a good idea to continue holding his pro-arms rallies in nearby denver despite protests from the mayor to stay away. He said and I quote, "This is our country. As Americans, we're free to travel wherever we want, in our broad land. (in a mocking tone) Don't come here? We're already here!"

I mean come on, the whole freaking town is mourning from the loss they've suffered in the aftermath of the shooting tragedy and here you are, encouraging people to buy more guns. I SLAP YOU AH!

Sigh. Alright, this marks the end of my grim entry.
ARMAS PARA QUE?

The King's behind the counter, serving coffee to James Dean.

2007-12-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

These past two weeks have been a hectic but wondrous swirl. Shopping trips with the BFFs, clubbing, rave parties, preparation for prom, the event itself, gotham penthouse, phuket vacation.
I'm spent, yet having the time of my life.
Pictures soon. :)

FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK.

2007-11-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

Dad found out about my tongue piercing 5 seconds ago.
I don't know what's going to happen.

Post-note:
Turns out, parents are totally cool with it. ;)

Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

2007-11-20T13:26:00.000+08:00

This is the funniest thing I've seen all week!!

"everybody must have a fantasy."

2007-11-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Gotta love the guy.

NEW ALBUM+MVI+ALL ACCESS DVD+AUTOGRAPHED POSTER+SYN BUNDLED TOGETHER WITH THE PACKAGE PLEASE!

2007-11-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

because tonight, the world turned in me.

2007-10-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

BEAUTIFUL EIGHTEEN.

Confetti rainfall in a quiet street.
These things I've found are special now.
Family, friends, love, life.
I have enough. :)

i'm not going without putting up a fight but..

2007-10-25T16:09:00.001+08:00

Inadequacy is a terrible feeling. And it doesn't help one bit that the A levels are DRIVING ME NUCKING FUTS!

"Not Pro-Gay, Just Anti-Injustice."

2007-10-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

Look. It's time to do something.

We already have the support of so many well-loved local artistes, Sir Ian Mckellen or King Lear/Gandalf if you may, and even ironically, (in a way), Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, even me (since a long time ago- look for the post under thursday 16th feb 2006).

Let not your inaction be the cause of a future Singapore that (in harsher terms) drowns in bigotry.

Anyway, here's something interesting and directly related to the issue at hand:

*start of convo

crystal says: (4:58:12 PM)
KEEP 377A?

victor says: (4:58:16 PM)
yes

crystal says: (4:58:18 PM)
NO

victor says: (4:58:28 PM)
lol

crystal says: (4:58:29 PM)
why?

victor says: (4:58:49 PM)
hmm... y not?

crystal says: (4:59:22 PM)
you dont just use that as a reason when the rights of the minorities are at stake here.

victor says: (5:00:02 PM)
If the issue is about "protecting minorities from the “tyranny” of the majority with the view of promoting a pluralist, diverse and progressive society." - then i think that there are other greater issues to talk about. Limiting the issue to only homosexuality is definitely not helpful.

crystal says: (5:05:45 PM)
it is ironic how you want to talk about "greater issues" when something like this (apparently MINOR in your eyes) is brewing dissatisfaction, if u want to move on to bigger things, fine, but curb the "small" ones first as a testimony to the capability that you MIGHT handle bigger issues. likewise, if you(singapore/govt) preaches about equality, great, but don't contradict yourself with a law such as 377a. it's like, walk the talk man.

crystal says: (5:07:10 PM)
and the statement that you just quoted blatantly reduces the importance of anti-discrimination and everything it stood for.

victor says: (5:07:15 PM)
equality must also come with discernment

victor says: (5:07:26 PM)
the right and wrong must be clearly differentiated

crystal says: (5:09:13 PM)
so you're marking homosexuality down as "plain wrong"?

victor says: (5:09:23 PM)
yes. just as theft is.

crystal says: (5:13:12 PM)
who are you to say that? do you know that sometimes homosexuality can be genetically-determined? imagine if you were born with only one arm, and i disassociate myself with you, simply because i believe having a wholesome body is normal and having just one arm is just "plain wrong", aren't i being selfish, not to say extremely shallow and obviously a bigot? it is by no means the fault of the individual in this case, because his trait (of being gay) isn't formed by he himself, but due to his genes.

victor says: (5:14:05 PM)
same thing for criminals

victor says: (5:14:14 PM)
crimnal intent can be genetically determined too

crystal says: (5:16:23 PM)
why are you likening homosexuality to a criminal offence? please tell me, how does private consensual conduct between adults cause harm?

victor says: (5:17:12 PM)
homosexuality is not just about the couple...

crystal says: (5:17:51 PM)
okay, even if you're talking about it as a way of life, how does that, by any chance, cause harm to others?

victor says: (5:19:38 PM)
hmm... i ask u something else ba

victor says: (5:19:52 PM)
do u think watching pornography is wrong?

crystal says: (5:23:38 PM)
no, it is only detrimental to the psychological well-being of the individual if he does not exert self-control and decides to over-indulge in it. the responsibility lies on the person itself, thus you definitely can't fault pornography itself.

victor says: (5:24:26 PM)
what about being promiscuous?

crystal says: (5:25:11 PM)
same thing.

victor says: (5:25:23 PM)
sooo.. what about misusing drugs?

crystal says: (5:27:54 PM)
it's the fault of the individual, except it needs to be curbed legally because well, drugs are fatal.

crystal says: (5:28:09 PM)
what is your point?

victor says: (5:28:37 PM)
:) lets just say allowing homosexuality = the allowing of a fatal drug to society

crystal says: (5:32:16 PM)
No, we shall NOT just say. back up your point before slandering. since when did homosexuality kill others?

victor says: (5:32:32 PM)
not physically

crystal says: (5:35:41 PM)
but i'll tell you what kills homosexuals or drive them to have suicidal tendencies- the inability for society to accept them, many of the time because of pre-conceived notions that are untrue and false. yes i am talking about vicious prejudices which then leads to discrimination. this, even by a heterosexual point of view, is just not fair. i think it's time for our society to move on in progression to a higher level of humanity- acceptance.

crystal says: (5:36:29 PM)
which then links back to equality, something fyi, is what singapore happens to be based on.

crystal says: (5:38:00 PM)
the red in the Singapore Flag= universal brotherhood and EQUALITY OF MEN.

victor says: (5:39:43 PM)
yet u must not show disregard for moral values just for equality

victor says: (5:40:26 PM)
and btw, Singapore is based on Purity and Virtue

victor says: (5:40:32 PM)
the White of the flag says so

victor says: (5:41:14 PM)
acceptance of wrong things does not equate to a progression to higher level of humanity too

crystal says: (5:43:45 PM)
I realized something interesting, you have been going on and on about how homosexuality is morally wrong and bad and blah blah blah, without ever proving your point of WHY it's wrong. sigh. this is a never-ending battle when your opponent only functions on one side of the brain.

victor says: (5:44:08 PM)
lol

crystal says: (5:44:57 PM)
you're already drowning in BLINDING submission that homosexuality is wrong. because you just can't seem to prove your point.

victor says: (5:45:14 PM)
i've already said y its wrong, however subtle

victor says: (5:45:43 PM)
likewise, YOU are already drowning in BLINDING submission that u r rite, too

crystal says: (5:46:54 PM)
and i have rebutted you on every account. and if you advocate for a cause, say it out, loud and proud. why the subtle nuances?

crystal says: (5:47:24 PM)
no i'm not, because so far, i've been proving my point and consistently trying to find what's YOURS

crystal says: (5:47:27 PM)
without avail.

victor says: (5:48:24 PM)
i'm goin for dinner

victor says: (5:48:46 PM)
dun wanna let such discourse further ruin our accuaintance =/

crystal says: (5:49:19 PM)
Okay.

*end of convo

"Watching Requiem for a Dream is like jumping from a plane without a parachute, and the movie ends three minutes after you hit the ground."

2007-09-18T17:26:00.000+08:00

watch the trailer here.

I cried like a baby towards the end. I don't know why, maybe because I took on the emotional suffering of all 4 characters and the intensity of it proved to be too overwhelming, or because of the fact that I know somewhere out there, real people are actually going through similar experiences right now.

As the credits began to roll, I just stood there with my damp cheeks, silent. My heart was full yet so jumbled up in an array of different feelings that I couldn't express.

It's been some time since watching a film affected me this much. It is so scary and heart-wrenching to think of how anyone could be brought so low as a person, and how desperation has the power to destroy love, hope, and self-worth, with despair as all that's left.

I feel compelled to share this powerful piece of work, although I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. The story is told with shocking brutality and the ending will just devastate you, but it is also deeply honest and about as real as it can get.

This is definitely in my top ten list, although I don't think I have the mental capacity to watch it again anytime soon.

egalitarian, you say?

2007-08-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

LOL.

Reading Alfian Sa'at's works makes me feel like a radical/social activist/freedom advocate.

(They spur on a plethora of burning questions..

Do we truly possess freedom of speech in Singapore? If we claim to practise democracy, what then is the justification for the implementation of the Internal Security Act? And why is the party in power's reign so absolute? Why is homosexuality an offence here? So what if you're straight, or gay, or bi? Does your sexual orientation define who you are? Is American imperialism and its cultural invasion eroding our social/national identity? Do we even have one to begin with?

that I wish someone would answer.)

warning: gazillion loads of photos!

2007-08-11T18:01:00.000+08:00

SINGFEST, 9th August 07.

Queuing for 3 hours at the mercy of mother nature in the blasted heat of the afternoon sun with exposed shoulders, standing for another 11 hours, and almost suffocating to death at one point isn't fun I tell you. But SINGFEST made everything worth it. :)

First performance in the line-up was local band The Great Spy Experiment followed by Malaysian band One Buck Short. Both pretty good, but unimpressive. Next up, band that hails from Canada which has a cute vocalist to boot, Crowned King:

Yeap Shaun came up to the crowd, and he was holding onto siti's hand and mine for support heh. I managed to record a really catchy song from them:

Cobra Starship was next, and they were amazing-Gabe Saporta was totally working the crowd, especially the girls, with all that popping and booty-shaking. ;)

Performing Bring It (Snakes On A Plane) with William from The Academy Is:

(my god, those screams are fatal!)

Moving On, it's time for... The Academy Is! (William went a bit loco, so did roxane hahaha)

performing Slow Down: (you can see William's hot pink underwear peeking out occasionally hmm)

Gym Class Heroes: (not a very big fan but Travis' rapping was smooth!)

?!! Never knew William was inclined THAT way. :P

Gym Class Heroes performing Cupid's Chokehold (babadada!) with William and Gabe:

OKAY. NOW FOR THE REAL DEAL. THE VERY REASON I CAME FOR.
AVENGED SEVENFOLD!!!

When GCH ended their set, the change was too distinct to miss- a large group of teeny-bopper kids had subsided and a meaner-looking crowd emerged. That's when trouble or rather, a real rock concert began. The severe pushing started even before the band came out, we were at the front row and I started to worry for the girls; they had difficulty holding their ground. There was alot of swearing, and I tried restraining but I couldn't take it because this stupid motherfucker in front of me kept kicking my shin. So yes, I shot off a slew of very colorful language, but hell, no regrets at all, that sodding piece of shit deserved it. I tried warning the guards,"You have to go behind and force everyone to step back. You don't understand, the band that's coming out next, it's gonna drive the crowd wild. The barriers won't hold." Their reply? "We can't. We'll get thrashed."

Just then the lights dimmed, and the second A7X took the stage and belted out Beast And The Harlot, everyone just lost it. The huge surge forward was terrifyingly insane, and I got pulled under, basically into an abyss of tight blackness. It was like being 10 feet underwater without goggles and an oxygen tank. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't see shit. Security rushed forward and tried to push everyone back but the pressure was too immense. The next thing I knew, the crowd had SMASHED THROUGH 3 COLD, HARD METAL BARRICADES.

People started spilling out, but I was still caught between one of the broken barricades and the unrelenting crowd, and I could feel the metal cutting into my flesh, which sent me screaming for dear life. The situation got so bad that the band had to stop playing and tell everyone to back off (thank god)- for it was then a guard finally pulled me out.

***When I got out, they had already resumed playing, and at that time I suddenly realized I am now RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE (in the restricted area). Choked with excitement, I ran towards Syn (there was NOTHING between us except the stage platform) and screamed my head off: "BRIAN I FUCKING LOVEE YOOUUUU!!!!!!" He looked down at me, straight in the eyes, and nodded his head real slowly and went, "Yeaaaahhhh." OMFG. The crowd was looking on with envy and I was just.thrilled.beyond.words.

Another girl who got pulled out shoved me right smack in the middle of Zacky.V and Synyster Gates (while they were dishing out a twin solo!) and took a shot with her camera. (it was a fucking awesome picture!!!) But she got dragged away by a guard and I never saw her again! :( With some quick thinking, I whipped out my camera and started snapping away, pretending to be part of the press so I could remain in that area hahaha.

I managed to stay on for a few minutes before getting thrown out as well. I almost burst into tears while making my exit, but then I heard them playing Seize The Day and something in me just snapped. Undaunted by the ferocious moshing going on, I chiong back into the masses again (braving random punches and mad bodysurfers), right back to the front row of the crowd, where I remained till the very end. Yes that's the fiery passion and love I have for A7X! :D

Okayokay enough with the drama. PICTURES!
Matt.Shadows!there. imagine me at the bottom in the middle of them, that was exactly how the shot that girl took for me would look like. sighh.Zacky Vengence & Synyster Gates
The Rev!Johnny Christ!

my boyfriend. sexy or what man!

Gates rocking his guitar solo:

I think the guys were happy with the Singapore crowd, I mean, you could see them breaking into huge grins everytime the audience's singing reaches a crescendo. And Gates has this lop-sided smile that looks shy, mysterious and terribly sexy all at the same time! My, I really really really do adore him. Ahh I guess they didn't expect to have such a die-hard fan base in Asia heh. The Noisettes performed after that, and well, all I can say is their name really do reflect their music haha. MxPx was brilliant though! revival of old school punk anyone?! heh. Hinder, the band who was headlining, was surprisingly awesome, they had great stage presence, and I really really like Austin's vocals. :)

Pictures of US:

Whoohoo finally done! This post is so bloody long, but I'm so satisfied hee. Although Singfest isn't as big as the Warped Tour in the States or Download Festival in the Uk or Summersonic Fest in Japan, it's still a nice start. I heard there're plans for A7X to return in december for their own show, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be there, and when that time comes, I swear I WILL meet the band, no matter what it takes. ;)

One stage. Ten bands. Fourteen thousand people.

2007-08-09T09:27:00.000+08:00

spinning: beast and the harlot by A7X.

TIME TO ROCK OUT.

Sorry for the lack of entries, school's been incredibly taxing. :(

2007-07-28T22:38:00.000+08:00

spinning: highway to hell by ACDC.

So I was going about doing my GP essay assignment, and my selected topic goes like this, "The true test of civilization is social and racial integration. Discuss."

Absolute Proposition, Inviting Options with an element of justification right? So I highlighted the fact that the greatest challenge to mankind in all their sophisticated progress and glory, may also be providing decent provision for the poor, not lapsing into barbarism or even sustaining our survival in the face of a myriad of environmental threats.

That prompted me to research on how these are so difficult to achieve since on a more serious level, existential risks are involved.

Results returned consisted mainly of inherent problems embedded in these issues which led me to conclude that as a nation and as a planet, we are screwed, fucked, and shit out of luck, or if you prefer spanish, Estamos Jodidas.

In view of the coming Live Earth..

2007-07-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

spinning: man in the mirror by michael jackson

Did you ever stop to notice?

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself
And Then Make A Change

Saosin/ Underoath/ Paramore/ Bloc Party/ Klaxons pending. hyperventilates and dies

2007-06-27T02:21:00.000+08:00

spinning: set me free by velvet revolver.

"Word has it that Avenged Sevenfold, MxPx, Gym Class Heroes, Good Charlotte, Cobra Starship and The Academy Is will be playing at Singfest 2007, a 2 day event at Fort Canning on National Day (8th and 9th August)! To date, all of these bands with the exception of Good Charlotte have confirmed the date on their myspace accounts. Ticketing details have yet to be released but do check back. We'll post more details when we have word."

I.AM.NOT.GOING.TO.MISS.THIS.FOR.THE.WORLD.

IT'S GOING TO BE SOO KICK-ASS.

REPEAT: K-I-C-K-A-S-S.

You have no idea how long I've waited for this.

2007-06-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

spinning: burn it down by avenged sevenfold.

I swear, I was all fired up like a godamn trigger waiting to ignite when the news hit. To say I'm excited is a (major) understatement. I was in a state of convulsive frenzy when I heard they were coming for pete's sake!! I'm giving up The Cure and Funeral For A Friend. Only for THEM:

AVENGED SEVENFOLD.

Fort Canning.

09.08.07.

FUCK YEAH!

If you stay, I don't need heaven.

2007-06-18T00:39:00.000+08:00

spinning: love song requiem by trading yesterday.

Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason.. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

Pin Your Wings.

2007-06-09T13:20:00.000+08:00

spinning: brightest by copeland.

Anberlin and Copeland Acoustic Set, 4th June '07, Home Club.

The queue was like a mile long (with many familiar faces from the gig the night before) when we arrived, and it was ironic how no one noticed that the guys of Anberlin were chilling just outside the club; two arms' length beside the freaking queue! I walked up to them and striked up a conversation, acting casual as shit even though my feelings betrayed otherwise.

Apparently, Stephen recognized me from the night before and gave me a hug, claiming the letter I wrote him was mind-blowing and he's going to keep it forever and ever haha. By then people slowly realized who they were and started flocking in our direction for photos.

It was a very cozy turn-out that night, and Anberlin's acoustic renditions of A Day Late, Paperthin Hymn, Adelaide, Inevitable, Radiohead's Creep and my favourite, their cover of Love Song by The Cure, were exceptionally resplendent.

Their cover of Love Song by The Cure. :)

Paperthin Hymn. You could tell this was a crowd favourite hee.

Copeland's acoustic set was also quietly brilliant:

The crowd was lulled into sweet silence when Aaron sang. I don't know, his vocals just sends you into a dream world that transcends all boundaries. It has this innate ability to strip you down to your barest soul and then set it alight with passion and warmth.

He has this indescribable hold over me when he sings; like he'd sprinkled golden magical stardust on me or something.

As silly as it may sound, I teared when they performed Love Affair. Aaron brought out the soft sadness the lyrics haboured and sang it so beautifully. The lights, the music, his voice, it all felt so surreal.

"If it's not too late for Coffee I'll be at your place in ten, we'll hit that all night diner and then we'll see.."
(www.myspace.com/copeland)

Next best thing, I got to meet both bands. :)

Nathan from Anberlin.

Christian from Anberlin. God I love this guy.

Wow they sure like the peace sign alot.

Joey from Anberlin.

Sorry girls haha.

Haha yes there was alot of love among both bands.

Aaron from Copeland.

Hello Aaron, this shot of you is priceless. It REIGNS over all other myspace photos of yourself. :)))

Steve from Copeland.

with the guys of Anberlin.

I wanted him to do a video blog like the band usually do, (www.myspace.com/anberlin) but he wanted me to do it with him! so it started with me asking, "you and me??" Stephen thinks I don't know what niece means. loll. Okay sorry I was so shy, inarticulate, incoherent etc. Wait, what's that? Oh yes, starstruck. :)

Brightest.

2007-06-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

spinning: paperthin hymn by anberlin.

ANBERLIN & COPELAND Showcase@ The Glass Pavilion, Far East Square, 3rd June 07.

COPELAND:

Copeland's set was sensational, haunting, timeless, and I was thankful for every minute that I was there then. It's heartbreaking yet so soothing to finally see/hear Aaron Marsh sing the words that have helped me through so many sleepless nights and tired sighs. When he sang, I couldn't comprehend the surge of emotions his voice had evoked in me. And I didn't want to, for they washed over me in a strangely beautiful amalgamation of feelings of melancholy, loneliness, longing, happiness, comfort and consolation.

Copeland's Control Freak. (Yes front row!) :)

ANBERLIN:

Anberlin, on the other hand, whipped up a torrential moshing storm when Stephen Christian belted out their 1st song, A Whisper and A Clamour. You could see how pleasantly surprised the band was at our fervent enthusiasm, which in turn infected them with wilder energy on stage. Every note was played to perfect precision by the two guitarists -Deon & Christian- coupled with ear-deafening pounding by (supposedly hot) drummer Nathan.

The crowd completely lost it when they played Godspeed. Everybody was pushing everybody in every direction possible, some girl snapped my necklace, and I lost my phone in that sea of crazy people! But that's okay cause some kind soul recovered it for me after the gig. All in all though, the guys truly gave a kick-ass performance!

You Have My Attention.

I got to meet Aaron Marsh! You would think the popularity of his status as an artist would get to him, but he's just so nice and humble and down-to-earth. That goes for Anberlin's Stephen as well. I penned down something for him.(Stephen) It wasn't some crazy fanmail, I talked about life, love, hope. And I managed to pass it to him. :)

I shall continue and blog about their secret show tomorrow! :D

when needles and lovers collapse on guilty beds.

2007-06-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

spinning: godspeed by anberlin.

psyched.

"Why the fuck are you so quiet for? Make some noise Singapore!!!" -ZP Theart.

2007-05-27T20:02:00.000+08:00

spinning: my spirit will go on by dragonforce.

DRAGONFORCE Inhuman Rampage World Tour '07
Live in Singapore, 20th May.

(Ignorant fags who don't know anything about the band, Dragonforce is LEGENDARY in the progressive/power/speed metal scene!)

Alright let's get started now that that've been established. I went with an old friend, and had a good laugh at his get-up when we met. He gave an incredulous look that said, "Wtf? Why's everyone in black/looking so hardcore?" Well welcome to the world of metal fans david haha.

We arrived at 6, but there was already a snaking queue. Thank God for connections; we cut, all the way to the effing front!

Showtime.

The band erupted with Revolution Deathsquad and drove the crowd berserk. I was exhilarated too because they played alot of my favourites!

Setlist:
Revolution Deathsquad
Fury Of The Storm
Operation Ground And Pound
Black Fire
Trail Of Broken Hearts
Vadim Solo
Soldiers Of The Wasteland
Storming The Burning Fields
My Spirit Will Go On
Through The Fire And Flames
Valley Of The Damned

Herman Li.
ZP Theart.
Sam Totman.
Vadim Pruzhanov.
Federic Leclercq.

Sam, (taking a dig at Singapore's strict laws):"Dude you said the F word. You're going to jail!"

Well obviously Sam had his beer stand. I've no clue how he can get boozed and shred the way he does at the same time though. Herman Li's guitar solos were fabulous, but the one who surprised me most was Dragonforce's new bassist, Federic Leclercq. I really think he could give John Myung a run for his money.

Vadim did an awesome keyboard solo during a short interval and basically went crazy with the keytar for the rest of the show. Dave was relatively good, but my view of him was obscured. ZP's wide-ranging vocals was powerful and controlled, although sometimes it got muffled by the other instruments.

ZP: "Watch out for the fucking barrier man. Whaatt. Yeah dude, I agree I've been told."

There were a lot of headbanging and bouts of moshing; we ended up breaking the barrier a couple times, and the guards were being assholes by pushing it/us much further away from the stage. Grr. The crowd definitely wasn't too happy about that and retaliated by showing a certain finger.

ZP got mobbed when he came down for closer interaction lol. At one point during the performance he joked,

"Hmmm, what else can we play? Something popular? How about some My Chemical Romance?"

Crowd: "FUCK NO! BOOO!!!"

Lmao. Classic moment there.

Anyway, guess what? I caught Federic's pickS! Pretty cool huh. We stayed behind with faith after the concert ended. True enough, Sam came out; beer in hand. After much (polite) shoving, I managed to get his autograph and a shot of the both of us together. Hell yeah!

Feeling very euphoric, but not quite satisfied, I pulled David backstage and waited for the band's exit. They emerged an hour later, looking all cleaned up except Sam. and yes, I GOT TO MEET THEM!!!!

Some super EXCLUSIVE photos with the rockstars: (DF fans eat your hearts out!)

Sam tried talking to me but I had trouble understanding cause his speech was soo slurred. (Yes he was completely tanked/wiped out/wasted by this time but was still carrying two full boxes of corona lol siao lah that guy.)

And I was being naughty by taking advantage of his drunkeness. "Saam flash me your most IDIOTIC GRIN ever!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Your boyfriend ah.

I had a much more pleasant chat with Vadim, who's the most adorable creature I swear heh. I gave him a hug before they left for the hotel and he went, "Aww Crystal you're so swweeet". That, for your info, melted my heart into butter. :)

Videos I took:

Sam & Herman. (short)

ZP working the crowd with bottled water!

Trail of Broken Hearts.

My Spirit Will Go On. (Um no, that wasn't my hand)

So what if 90% of those who attended were guys? Dragonforce Live in Singapore.

Definitely my most memorable concert. :D

far beyond the boundaries of hell and starlight.

2007-05-20T00:47:00.000+08:00

spinning: fury of the storm by dragonforce.

Tickets have been booked and I am pretty damn excited. I've been a fan of their music for quite some time now; they're probably my favourite progressive metal band after Sonata Arctica. Hmmm it'll be interesting to watch the execution of Herman and Sam's crazy guitar twin solos, and I hope they won't mess up because the last time Dream Theater was here, John Petrucci was fricking flawless.

"Those guys from DragonForce are the fastest guitar players I think I’ve ever seen. They’re like Yngwie Malmsteen on steroids."
- Kirk Hammett (Metallica)

lol I thought that was funny. Ahh I hope the guys will be sober for once since they're always getting wasted before going on stage. ZP, Sam, Herman, Vadim, Dave, and Fred I want a worthy performance so stay off the booze ya hear!! And I am praying that there will NOT be any hardcore moshing because I am quite sick but judging from how they're working the crowd below,

I don't think my wish's gonna be granted.

Prom.

2007-05-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

spinning: eden by sarah brightman.

It isn't about the event, it isn't about the money you have to pay, it isn't about who's going, it isn't about feeling self-conscious or awkward that you're not acquainted with half the crowd. It's about finding the perfect dress for each other. It's about getting the same butterfly knots inside before stepping out into the hotel lobby, it's about complimenting how stunning we all look that night. it's about us.

It's a representation of a bittersweet finality of our years together in college as best friends, of an unparalleled bond held tightly by steel strings of care, laughter, tears, love. It's a sad and inevitable closure of another phase in our lives, but finding assurance in knowing that it is filled with good times. You do know this will only happen once don't you?

Sure, we could have a private one and skip this event altogether, but how much meaning can it hold? How symbolic can it be when 'it' doesn't even have a name in comparison? Pardon my cynicism, but wouldn't the absence of its identity propagate the notion that we and everything we've ever had will also eventually disintegrate into nothingness? You would like our friendship to end this way, no? So why, why do you impose all these superficial concerns and worries about the event on one another when none of these matter? Remember, it's about us.

The three of you colored my eyes red and left me in a pool of deep disappointment in school today, without the slightest hint of realizing my cause of sadness. I'm sorry my dears, but my love for you is halved tonight.

SELECTIVE MEMORY.

2007-04-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

spinning: reason why by rachael yamagata.

You talk about what happened, but you can never re-create what it was like, or what it felt like. Painful details are suppressed; context is lost; events are elided, often unconsciously, in order to make the inchoate choate.

(So, I will head out alone and hope for the best And we can hang our heads down As we skip the goodbyes And you can tell the world what you want them to hear I've got nothing left to lose my dear, So I'm up for the little white lies But you and I know the reason why I'm gone, and you're still there.)

when heartache translates into the physical.

2007-04-08T02:23:00.000+08:00

THE DRUGS DON'T WORK.

this hurt. it trancends beyond bodily pain.
So doctor, thank you for your prescription of
anarex and pontalon but no thank you.

this profound, indestructible melancholy,
what is it?
this heaviness of heart,
what is it?
this perpetual sadness,
what is it?

It's like you have to fight for very breath,
and tell death to go to hell.

I've got to remember this is just a game.

2007-04-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

spinning: beautiful lie by 30 seconds to mars.

WHEN IN ANGER, S.P.L.U.R.G.E.

These few weeks haven't been kind. Both my heart and mind seemed to be dragged through the coal fires of his heart. (sometimes my dear, I really don't know what is it you want. I thought you needed someone true, but you changed your mind. or had I failed you?) And school is just plain wearisome. I've lost my drive to study, but after all that happened, is it any wonder? The recent piercings weren't done in vanity. I needed the pain. just so I could feel, something. I hated the alcohol that was being applied. I hated the numbing effect. I wanted it to hurt. I wanted to relish that raw, stinging sensation that delves deep into the bones, that throbs from beyond the bloodlines. If you think this is all very perverse, well then, fuck you. I am a fucking teenage dirtbag and this is how I deal with shit in my life. And no, I don't condone self-mutilation, the ugly scars and penknife cuts only serve to highlight two things-stupidity and the lack of respect for your own body. At least in piercing/tattooing/branding, art is being created. It's different. In all the agony, there's beauty. Without beauty, you're nothing. Now who could love that? Moreover, crying has never been my form of outlet, it just shows weakness. I guess I don't like giving in to my emotions. They're always too much to take. Why break down if all you're going to get is the intensification of the anguish and sadness? A warped theory but logical nonetheless. Yes truth be told I appreciate the very reflex of my muscles to control and hold back my tear ducts. Goodnight.

the illusory quality of.

2007-03-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

spinning: sing for absolution by muse.

What's in a fling?
carnal pleasures.
how about love?
Love?

I NEVER LOVED THEE!
never, never, never, never, never.

Fall, and cease.

She, she couldn't draw any breath from his body.

"He who loves the more is the inferior and must suffer."

2007-03-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

spinning: it's not over by secondhand serenade.

She loved him so much that, where her heart should have been, she could only feel an aching breathlessness, a cavity which he alone could fill. A complicated pain, made up of jealousy and a despairing sense of loss and personal unworthiness, of a fear that her angel was being corrupted and another, deeper fear, which her conscious mind refused to formulate, a fear that there wasn't much further corruption to be done, that the angel was not as angelic as her love had made her assume.

the hand that feeds.

2007-03-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

spinning: happy birthday by the birthday massacre.

My dear,
The only problem with fucking with someone as twisted as yourself IS fucking with someone as twisted as yourself.

the beat that my heart skipped.

2007-03-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

spinning: don't cry by guns n roses.

Do we both have that much pride, or am I just another one of your fleeting art pieces? The one with thin crossed lines and quick splashes of paint perhaps? Why am I psychotically piling on the fantasies despite each wave of the cold realization of what cannot be? Hasn't reality already sunk them? Why play games with my own mind? Time to get rid of this foolish foolish infatuation. You're in my thoughts at the break of both dawn and dusk, blurring the line between what's real and what's not within the labyrinth of my heart. Maybe painting you into prose may bleed you out of my veins. So long.

plastic surgery slumber party.

2007-03-04T20:07:00.000+08:00

spinning: le disko by shiny toy guns.

Highlights/Comments/Complaints:

1.DXO drinks are fucking diluted.

2.DJ could be better.

3.The fight that almost took place between our group and (of all people), the SR soccer alumni boys.

4.All the ironic drama between shane and mudd.

5.CY giving out hickies to a girl in the club before realizing she isn't straight!

6.Taking photos in the middle of the road and making all the cars stop for us.

7.All the (fake) gay romps back in the hotel room.

8.Downing a gigantic gulp of vodka(on the rocks wtf) from shane's(bastard) mineral bottle after assuring me it was water and burning my throat as a result!

9.Being shit tired but still learning how to decipher strumming patterns from egan and shane.

10.CY being slightly tipsy and hence displaying all his theatrical antics.

11.Me choking on cigarette smoke (really badly) when I went into the bathroom to pee.

12. Seven or eight of us not brushing our teeth and sharing a bed to sleep hahahaha.

Ohana!

2007-02-26T19:47:00.000+08:00

spinning: my sharona by the knacks.

Valentine's Day:

PS: Thank you my hunny bunnies for all the lovely gifts and thank you for the flowers mr.anonymous. :)

Chinese New Year Celebrations:
Reunion Dinner(Dad's side):

Owl Club:

Family Dinner(eve):

Mum's Side:

Well I hope you had a blast for CNY, because I certainly did! :D

Ten More Minutes!

2007-02-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

spinning: steady as she goes by the raconteurs.

Sorry for the lack of updates!
Been crazy busy.
To compensate, here are truckloads of pictures! :D

Malacca Trip:

Jane's Big 18th:

Literature Night:

DONE! Goodnight. :)

the fake sound of progress.

2007-02-05T22:02:00.000+08:00

spinning: killing in the name of by rage against the machine.

Today, I received a medal.

It read:
World title-holder for the most catastrophical physics results ever known to the existence of mankind.

Now congratulate me and die.

I am risking my life, and half my reason is gone.

2007-01-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

spinning: vincent by don mclean.

I carry this song in my heart. It represents the life, work and death of Vincent Van Gogh; the artist with a brilliant mind but a tortured soul. It is haunting, passionate and beautifully tragic.

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as
beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on the way. I wish they would only take me as I am. I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream."
-Vincent Van Gogh.

delicate.

2007-01-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

spinning: you look so fine by garbage.

Knights of Cydonia.

2007-01-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

spinning: apocalypse please by muse.

Setlist:
01. Knights Of Cydonia
02. Hysteria
03. Map Of The Problematique
04. Butterflies And Hurricanes
05. Supermassive Black Hole
06. Newborn
07. Forced In
08. Bliss
09. Feeling Good
10. Sunburn
11. Invincible
12. Time Is Running Out
13. Plug In Baby
Encore:
14. Soldier's Poem
15. Starlight
16. Stockholm Syndrome

Introducing UK's INVINCIBLE TRIO!

Waiting for MUSE to come on.

AH. FINALLY!

Matt. talented, explosive, sexy as hell.

Clips taken with my phone:

tearing down the house with Stockholm Syndrome

Time is Running Out(major sing-along)

Muddy soil on sloping ground, the smell of soap, sweat, cherry cigarettes and alcohol, being infuckingfront, seven thousand adrenaline-pumping bodies, mass hysteria, hard-core moshing, cuts and bruises, random jabs of ice water, smeared makeup, screams of 'I want your babies matt!', body-surfing, electrifying vocals, unmatched musicality.

MUSE live in Singapore= FUCKING AWESOME.

Plus in true rock-n-roll style, matt said goodnight to the crowd by thrashing his guitar. :)

:)

2007-01-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

"Has anything you've done made your life better?"

2007-01-07T02:21:00.000+08:00

spinning: the clincher by chevelle.

neo nazi skinheads, mein kampf, vehement indoctrination/propaganda, brutality of racism, hatred, blood ties, life.

American History X.
Extremely powerful.
Watch it.

fyi: rated R for graphic brutal violence including rape, pervasive language, strong sexuality and nudity.

Edward Norton never fails to deliver. I love him to death.

The Female Protagonist.

2007-01-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

spinning: nothing compares to you by sinead o'connor.

They hadn`t quarrelled. Nothing of that sort had happened. But she had allowed this gulf of silence to grow between them, a yawning gap that grew more unbridgeable as each day of silence passed by. Why didn`t she say something to get them talking again? She moped. She kept quiet. She avoided him. She shouldn`t let this silence disturb her peace, yet, the niggling thought that she might have some deep feelings for him continued to plague her. She was irritated that she was this weak: it was an unforgivable vulnerability and she ought to be stronger. She ought to be stronger.

a dream from another world.

2006-12-13T02:18:00.000+08:00

spinning: now we are free by myleene klass.

The soft sand felt like fine flour against my bare skin. I could feel the lapping waves touching my toes as I lay there quietly. Forward they came, then retreating gently, again and again. I took another swig from the bottle of Jack Daniel's in my right hand. It tasted strangely sweet. Then I looked up and drew in a sharp breath as ecstasy took hold. There was not a hint of clouds as thousands of ethereal silver stars were peppered across the endless expanse of the velvet night sky. Some were glistening faintly; others full and bright. I was struck with awe as a rain of sparkle entered my realm of vision. Meteor showers were occurring simultaneously; like quick flashes of lightning playing catch. With raised fingers, I played with them as I raced through the Orion's Belt,traced along the outline of the Northern Star and drew out the Leo constellation. It was then I wondered to myself in amazement, "How can something perfect be so close, yet so far?"

does anybody hear her?

2006-12-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

spinning: who am I by casting crowns.

I went back to my church to watch Grammy Award-winning Casting Crowns perform. It feels strange for it's been a year since I last stepped into it. Everything's different yet familiar.

Anyway when Pastor Lim called them up, they agreed to come without even bringing up the topic of how much they were going to get paid. I mean, that coming from one of the biggest christian bands in the states? wow.

Or maybe they just have too much money. They flew in via a private jet, you know. haha okay i'm kidding they're really, really nice people.

The time spent with them was amazing. At one point, with our heads bowed and eyes closed, Mark(vocalist/pastor) preached about how some of us are lacking fundamental peace, and he asked for these people to raise their hands.

In my mind I was thinking, that's me. Plus I also fully believed everyone had their hands raised at this juncture. So you could imagine the shock when I opened my eyes and realized only a handful(including me) did.

The next thing I knew, Mark requested for us to be at the altar.

(looking directly at me since I'm closest to the stage):
"Can someone be the first to come forward, we would like to pray for you."

(youth leaders approaching and encouraging me to go)
me: "Oh hell no. I mean, no no no. I have stage fright, er er. cannot lah. really."

Then one of them offered to accompany me, so I relented. Still! It was heart-pounding okay, walking up to 2000 over people. Plus they have cameras stationed everywhere so my face was projected on the big-ass screens.

But when the praying started, I was overwhelmed with the presence of God, something I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

I guess this is rededication. After that, friends just started asking, "So. Coming back to Evangel now eh?"

Okay I don't know how to explain this but my relationship with God is not defined by going to church.

smack that.

2006-12-08T03:29:00.000+08:00

spinning: attitude by suede.

Flow was one of the worst clubbing nights ever. They played trance at the main arena throughout the party. It was difficult dancing to it, unless you're an ah beng with very fluid hand movements. Apparently, DJ Koflow chose to spin at Smoove instead, which resulted in attracting the bulk of the crowd there. The room thus, was jam packed with people. Again, how to dance?

here you can see people leaving the main arena for smoove. yes I got that bored.

Well at least I caught Divine 9 live.

I must have looked stupid; being the only female in the mosh pit singing along and head-banging to their music. Everyone got pysched only when they started playing Enter Sandman by Metallica. I guess industrial music don't have a very big fan base here. :(

Pictures we took inside the club:

I got back at about 7am. The sun had set by the time I woke up haha. Then it was the Balcony Bar with Shi Sei. We stayed there for like, 15minutes before bar hopping to Rouge, where we met a Adam Brody look-alike! Except he was darker, sexier and more dangerous-looking. Shi Sei kept stealing glances at him! yes I saw you shisei don't even try to deny lol. I had a glass of pierre jean(red) while she ordered tequila sunrise. That was all we had.

still. we looked drunk as fuck. shrugs.

the laws have changed.

2006-12-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

spinning: a perfect lie by the engine room.

Nip/Tuck is the only TV series that's capable of activating my tear ducts. I think this is largely due to how Dylan Walsh portrays his character as Dr.Sean McNamara.

But oh how i adore that show.

In other news,
going through camp with a burning temperature of 38 degrees is no easy feat. But hey, I prevailed.The nights were ardous though. I remember complaining to Jane how my head feels like

"a terribly heavy sponge soaked entirely in hard alcohol; which kept percolating through and through, and with thick barbed wires encircling it. And everytime I sneeze, it feels like someone gave the sponge a mighty fine squeeze."

now you know how it feels. I think it was worse than a combination of 5 hangovers put together.

anyway, I'll be going for this:

Come say hi if you see me. :)

you can't put your arms around a memory.

2006-11-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

spinning: and then i kissed him by hans zimmer.

When you're ill and lying in bed, missing someone proves to be extremely acute. it's like a fierce sting; piercing, bitter, unrelenting.

Have a heart, spare me this agony.

MEGALOMANIA.

2006-11-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

AAAAHHH FUCKING HELL MUSE IS COMING TO TOWN IN JANUARY!!!!!!!
I AM SO STOKED I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT RIGHT NOW.
THEY'RE GOING TO BE SOO GOOODD I TELL YOU.
IT'S GOING TO BLOW OUR FUCKING BRAINS AWAY.

MATTHEW.
CHRIS.
DOMINIC.
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE SHOW.

Goodbye we're falling fast.

2006-11-26T03:00:00.000+08:00

spinning: kissing the shadows by children of bodom.

I HATE ~~YOUR~~ MY GUTS.

park that car. drop that phone. sleep on the floor. dream about me.

2006-11-23T01:11:00.000+08:00

spinning: anthems for a seventeen year-old girl by broken social scene

I know nothing about you. You were standing outside the porta-potties in a striped shirt, tight black pants and a full pint in each hand straining to smoke your cigarette without spilling any beer. I know nothing about you but that moment and there's nothing more that really needs to be said about that.

smells like teen spirit.

2006-11-21T03:03:00.000+08:00

spinning: notorious by duran duran.

"What will your mother do when you return home at 2am for three consecutive nights?" Illustrate.

"One of these days i swear i am going to disown you. don't blame me when that time comes."

"Okay."

SHIT WHAT WAS I THINKING.

You don't need guts, just open arms.

2006-11-17T21:26:00.000+08:00

spinning: beautiful love by the afters.

Out of the blue today, I gave a friend a hug.
In return, she looked at me quizzically.

Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, a man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.

As this symbol of human hope spread across the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED.

What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

There has been thousands of emails from all over the world by people seeking to participate in the Free Hugs campaign and asking for permission.

You do not need permission. This is the peoples movement, this is your movement. With nothing but your bare hands YOU can make the difference.

Cold, cold heart. Hard done by you.

2006-11-15T05:04:00.000+08:00

spinning: sacrifice by elton john

No tears to damn you

When jealousy burns.

Brat Pack.

2006-11-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

spinning: ooh la la by goldfrapp

I asked you to watch this space because..

I am reviving this blog. because I want to. :)
Okay pictures on Halloween!

Preparations the day before. it was fun doing up the house!
Something I picked up at a Halloween store. freaky eh.
The end result. I replaced all the lights with small jack-o lantern baskets.
Sorry to all who thought there was tissue inside the box and got freaked out by this! but YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACES! haha.
What better to welcome my guests than a murder scene complete with a dead victim?
Okay I think I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. enjoy. =)

courtesy of my little cousin. Clifton are you drunk? lol.

Ahh I got mobbed! "Video Crystal dancing than put on youtube ah."-I HEARD THAT YOU LITTLE TWIT.

The party on the whole was pretty damn awesome. We had vampires, pirates, witches, hot cabaret dancers, renaissance gentlemen, angels, gypsies, a playboy bunny, a victorian maiden, the dutch lady, a british soldier, a transsexual, a mad scientist, the devil, a prisoner etc etc in the house. It really was quite a sight heh.

I appreciate the presence of everyone who came that night, truly. Especially those who came in their costumes, all of you looked amazing!

Having dry ice at the entrance, getting to meet all my old friends, receiving roses and beautiful presents, going crazy with the camera, savoring poison ivy and Oompa Loompa’s color-changing poo poo etc, scaring people with the harmless-looking witch box and the screaming mirror in the washroom, laughing at their hilarious expressions, mad-dancing, being serenaded by Emmanuel, knowing that it’s enough to be loved by people I care about..

Ah. A birthday girl cannot ask for more. :D

One question though,
WHO STOLE THE ALCOHOL?

Nails clawing splinters from the ceiling and floor. Shrieking like the witches till his stitches are sore.

2006-10-30T12:03:00.000+08:00

Crystal’s Halloween 17th Birthday Bash

Join us for a frightful night of spirits and bites. Come enjoy some witch’s brew and goblin stew and other ghoulish delights. Stay with us all night if you dare!

Date: Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
Time: 7.30pm to Midnight
Place: SAFRA Resort@ Changi
Address: 10 Changi Coast Walk, Singapore 499739

MASQUERADE. Come as you aren’t.
Prizes for the funniest, scariest and the sexiest costume.

i think i might..

2006-10-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

watch this space.

A New Beginning.

2006-07-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

spinning: breaking of the fellowship by howard shore.

I`m making a declaration.
This blog is now officially defunct.

I feel that I`m going through a new phase in my life and I`ve had enough of a blog whose main purpose seems to be for entertainment. I yearn for a brand new release. Something different, something more expressive, more inspirational, more propelling, more intoxicating. And I am going to create that.

I hope this blog will never be deleted though. I cherish every single post I`ve made. They all hold significant value, in one way or another; whether in just making me feel better about life or in contributing sanity, or insanity, in my struggling growth of adolescence and in the search of MY identity, of MY place in the adult world. They are part of me, you know?

I would say all good things come to an end, but I WON`T. Simple because it does not. The legacy still lives on in our hearts. You KNOW that.

In loving memory,
Paradiseandspice.blogspot.com
Dec 2005 - July2006

I was terrified of falling asleep yesterday for fear of spinning off to a tangent universe in my dreams.

2006-07-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

spinning: mad world by gary jules

The Philosophy of Time Travel.

Dear Roberta Sparrow,
I have reached the end of your book and.. there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I`m afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I`m afraid that you`ll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

I died in my sleep last night.

2006-07-15T19:32:00.000+08:00

spinning: champagne supernova by oasis

Cherries, red wine, and covered lies.

But I can still remember the world from the eyes of a child. Let`s go back to that?

I feel hollow now that the World Cup has come to an end. =(

2006-07-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

spinning: teenage dirtbag by wheatus.

Fourth WORLD CUP victory for ITALY.

I know I was initially rooting for them, but I`m not sure if they deserved it because if you had watched the game, the French clearly proved to be the better team. Their attacks were powerful, strong and swift. But we still have to give credit for Italy`s solid defense. Plus Buffon`s performance was incredible.

The crucial highlight of the game was when Materazzi grabbed Zidane(Zizou)`s jersey for a few seconds, and after exchanging words, Zidane turned around and head-butted him right straight in the middle of his chest! And that can only mean one thing. RED CARD. It was quite shocking, because I heard he`s known for his poise and elegance when he plays and also in person.

This incident probably cost France to lose, although I thought that wasn`t the greatest tragedy. The most unforgivable shame was how Zidane ended his stellar career with such a brutal act of fury when it didn`t have to be that way. He could have been hoisting the World Cup up in the air and relishing the glory instead of Cannavaro if not for that moment of impulsive rashness. He could have had the best retirement, but it was not to be.

I was frustrated with the Italians, because now (2nd-half) that Henry (why did Domenech take him out anyway?) and Zidane were gone, it`s time for them to up their game and dazzle the crowd with a grand finish or something. They were supposed to CHIONG. But they didn`t. They just went into a shell of mediocrity and stifled virtually all the life out of the game urgh! They were lucky to have conceded all five penalties, and with Trezeguet (do you know he used to play for Italy?) missing one for France. Still, it was no way to win a World Cup.

Zidane`s head-butt.
looks pretty painful to me. ouch.
`Hey man what the f*** is your problem?!`-Cannavaro.
`Hey man what the f*** is your problem?!`-Buffon. LOL.
More Kay Pohs! haiyo.
'Put it back in your pocket or i swear i will bite you! Rahh.`-Zidane.
'Okok I didn`t mean that. But really, you cannot book me. You must understand. That bastard said I was balding!!`
The closest he`ll ever get to the World Cup trophy. Aw.
WHOOHOOO Zidane`s out! lol okok this was when they won.

I still want to know what exactly Materazzi had said to provoke Zidane so badly!

I still want Lehmann, leh.

2006-07-10T02:23:00.000+08:00

spinning: die romantic by aiden.

This is it.
The game has kicked off.
Who will win the Jules Rimet Cup?

For France we have Thierry Henry and Zinedine Zidane to ~~watchout~~ look out for.

For Italy we have Fabio Cannavaro, Luca Toni, Alessandro Del Piero, Gianluigi Buffon and Francesco Totti. =)

So. Les Bleus or Italia?
All will come to light very, very soon.

just leave me your stardust to remember you by.

2006-07-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

Some people flit and flutter. They lightly touch on others lives in a fly-by manner. They are beautiful to behold and a pleasure to listen to. In the moment they become the moment and this floats them higher.

Social Butterfly.

Get out the formaldehyde, pins, and magnifying glass, add them to my collection. They look so pretty, when they dont move.

Dusty wings. Frozen beauty.

They begin life so dull. Caterpillar. Insect. Laying dorment caccooned by their own self loathing. Until one day they burst out screamingandshouting while cliche' airkissing. In red.blue.andyellow.

Their minute of limelight quickly fades. They lay broken winged. Once a star, now all thats left is a chalky, faded reminder. Dull. Reminiscent of their true hidden self.

Appreciated by many. But adored by few, the obsessive butterfly collectors; yellow waxy anorack wearers of society.
spinning: boats & birds by gregory and the hawk.

sleepless for 38 hours and going. when you have insomnia, everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.

2006-07-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

City lights like rain
Dance and explode
Reeling from nights that
Kiss and control
All of our broken hearts.

spinning: hide and seek by imogen heap.

I`m willing to break myself to shake this hell from everything I touch.

2006-07-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

Currently playing: The Answer Lies Within by Dream Theater.

I hate how I`m unable to express my personal feelings on this blog, MY blog. Because I know my younger sisters and possibly even my mother read it. So what I do is that I`ll break up whatever thoughts and feelings I have and infuse bits of them into random muses. I don`t even know why I try since usually they`ll end up being so distorted that its primitive meaning is lost anyway.

I`m willing to bleed for days more reds and grays so you don't hurt so much, would you do the same for me? I guess not.

I`ve been sorrowful lately, but I`m not going to talk about my grievances in this huge perfect world where my worth is just miniscule. The song that`s currently playing is supposed to make me feel better about myself, about life, everything. Yet it`s making me cry. Why?

I want to see these feelings dance on out,
Dance among these broken fucking pieces of me,
Watch them spin across my face,
Watch it fall apart as perfect as before,
Watch the grasp slide out once again,
As this remnant past grabs hold,
Let your sorrow spill among the wine glasses.
To watch her fall apart is a beauty in itself.

the soccer drug.

2006-06-27T02:02:00.000+08:00

In the match between England and Ecuador 1-0, Sven-Goran Eriksson should have just stuck to 4-4-2 formation instead of trying out something new. The players look lost and they played like shit.

Rooney looks stupid playing without an attacking partner and Lampard was not good enough despite his efforts and nobody even knew Beckham was sick and if Ashley Cole was a split second late to deflect the shot made by Ecuador`s striker...Sigh. Someone needs to send England home. Yes I hear a name. What? Ah. Portugal. They might do the job nicely. =)

Which brings me to the extremely violent match between Portugal and Holland 1-0. 16 yellow cards and 4 red ones! But I`m not complaining because it sure was entertaining. My dad shouted like an excited little boy when both teams clashed and fought. `Free-for-all! Free-for-all!` And I was thinking, oh well. Men are still little boys at heart. Haha.

I know Cristiano`s a fucking show-off, but seeing him in tears due to the frustration of wanting to play on but couldn`t because of his injury is so heart-wrenching! I was not a happy girl at all when Deco(I like him.) was booked twice and was told to leave. Referee Kayu lah!

Actually I was secretly hoping that Holland would beat Portugal(surprise surprise) because in my opinion they were the ones who played better in this game, controlled passes, good attacking and all.

There was so much rage and anger between the two teams in this match, so I thought it was quite comforting to see Giovanni(what. I dunno his surname cannot ah.) from Holland and Deco from Portugal talking to each other after they both got kicked out; probably discussing a plan to plot and kill Ivanov for issuing them the red card ha.

Italy Vs Australia. 1-0. Ended not long ago. Australia`s defending was amazing(Chipperfield`s goooddd.); I never knew they could play this well. In my opinion they dominated this match. UNTIL. 8 SECONDS before it all ends, with a score of still 0-0, Grosso went to ground under Lucas`s tackle, which resulted in a penalty shot, where Totti(he's hot) took over and shot the ball high into the net, deeming them(Italy) victorious. What a heartbreak for the Australians!

Switzerland vs Ukraine in an hour's time. :)

sigh. FIFA WORLD CUP.
at the expense of my mid-year exams.
someone shake me out of it!
oo fyi, I am a proud supporter of SPAIN. =D

The geek juices are taking over and there should be no cause for resistance hahaha.

2006-06-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hello whoever-who-reads-this-blog, I am taking a break from hardcore blogging because firstly, it is exhausting (uploading the photos and shit), secondly, the world cup matches proved to be too enticing (go Spain!), and lastly, believe it or not, I am a student and I have a fucking duty, ergo I need to study for my mid-years, which starts like, this Saturday holy cow!

So yes wail loudly, for I am gone. For now anyway.

PS: I will try and finish up about the England trip when I have the time and I will still blog when I feel like it. So in the meantime, sit tight!

A Change of Seasons, Please?

2006-06-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

PS: The pictures look so much more amazing when they`re bigger, so click on them if you want to see the best of England. :))

Day 4
We visited the ruins of Whitby Abbey today. Fans of Bram Stoker who had read Dracula would know that this place was mentioned in the book, the area where Lucy got bitten. It felt weird standing on these (consecrated) grounds, considering the fact that they`re centuries old.

I don`t know why, but the place was exceptionally cold. Though on a brighter note, the surrounding views were honestly, quite breath-taking.

We then headed to Stratford. Had lunch at one of the cafes littered along the harbor, which by the way was beautiful! In the evening we went to the Royal Shakespeare Theatre to catch a performance of Romeo & Juliet.

The play lasted for 3 hours. It was pretty good, if not a wee bit draggy, and Romeo could have done better. After the play, we took a 2mile walk back to the hostel in the freezing weather. It was a pleasant surprise when once I stopped and looked up, for the stars were out in full force, prickling the velvety night sky with glimmer and making it look so pretty!

Day 5:
We arrived at Stratford-Upon-Avon and were whizzed to William Shakespeare`s Birthplace & Exhibition. Then the whole afternoon was spent shopping at Henley Street. Dorothy Perkins was having a sale, so us girls literally stomped in and came out; hands fumbling with loads of shopping bags heh. And why is there no H&M in Singapore! Bought a sweet-looking bikini for my sister`s birthday present from there.

I felt guilty after shopping for about 4 hours- I blew about 100pounds. (you need to triple it in terms of Singapore dollars) So two of my girlfriends and I decided to pass the time by renting a boat and taking it down the river.

Turns out we can`t row for nuts initially, and we had all the white people laughing at us. Oh well, at least we were better than the guys, who kept crashing into the banks haha.

I got the hang of it after a while but Sarah didn`t trust me enough and kept freaking out, which totally cracked me up. But overall the boat ride was damn fun.

Sarah`s the one who`s talking the whole time in the video, her words are quite hilarious eh? Lol. And in case you were wondering, we did NOT crash into the riverbank. =)

Okay more about the trip another day!

FIRST 3 DAYS of the England trip. =)

2006-06-17T18:38:00.000+08:00

Okay so what I`m going to do is to copy and paste what I wrote in my travel journal during my stay in England here in this blog.

Day 1:
Left Singapore for Birmingham via Dubai on Emirates Airline. I remember having a gazillion rush of thoughts while on the plane, but they wore me out as quickly as they came and I soon dozed off.

The boys at Dubai airport.Clockwise-Michael Yeo, Rayner, Shaun, Emmanuel, Geoffrey and Navin.
The crowd heading home after a friendly with Jamaica. England won duh.
Old Trafford; this is where it all happens for Manchester United FC and English Premier League giants and arguably, the world's finest football team. :)

Day 2:
So. Plane flights officially suck. My butt hurts like hell and my poor stiff neck is in major need of a massage after so many hours of flying. -fast forward-We reached Langdale Youth Hostel in the evening(UK Time) and had to walk up(2 miles) for the path was too narrow for the coach. The scenery was exactly how I always pictured an English countryside to look like- absolutely gorgeous. It`s summer here right now so the weather`s perfect as well. The girls are gushing about the English boys residing at the hostel, and that was a bit annoying. I mean, yes they are good-looking but do you have to EXCLAIM THAT LOUDLY. No shame ah! Lol. Okay okay better grab some sleep, where`s my blanket! Brrrrr. (fyi: it gets uber cold at night)

The Countryside!

I think I take good photos. Beautiful huh. :)

Day 3:
It`s weird here because the sun sets at about 9.30pm and rises at about 4.30am!I took a leisurely stroll in the morning with some of the girls and we saw sheeps grazing on lush green pastures with a stunning backdrop of the azure blue sky and lofty mountains. I was tempted to get nearer but they were cordoned off, private property apparently. But I was thinking, `You couldn`t possibly have the heart to prosecute a young girl for trying to get closer to the animals, to nature. Its just, wrong.` Lol. So with that thought in my head, I couldn`t be bothered with rules and stuff, and I climbed over the fence and took a lot of pictures haha. Here`s one:

We proceeded to Windermere for the Lake Cruise. It was bitingly cold onboard but the captivating view more than made up for it.

We also visited Rydal Mount; home of William Wordsworth, Dove Cottage, village of Grasmere and William Wordsworth`s final resting place at St.Oswald`s Church.

In the afternoon, Mr.Rozells spearheaded a 2-mile hike up one of the mountains at Lake District. The path was rocky and a little arduous but again, the view we were rewarded with was all worth it in the end.

Inspiration struck while I was up there; taking in the majestic scenery and feeling the cool summer breeze caressing my face softly. I just felt that it would be such a sin not to pen down something when you`re shrouded with you know, beauty at its purest. So yes, I wrote a poem entitled, `Colored Symphony`.

Coloured Symphony

Epitome of perfection.
A canopy of lush greenery
Over lofty mountains.
Experience the dance of leaves,
In the sweet summer breeze
Twirling and swirling sans restriction.
Lake overhead,
Glimmering,
Bubbling a sacred lullaby.
Heaven and Earth,
Never at par.
Communal spirits.
Blissful solitude.
Like I said,
Epitome of perfection.
Picturesque like a post-card,
And much more.
It`s imagination set on fire.
A hint of minty air fills my nostrils,
It`s full of hope and warmth,
Like true love`s first kiss.
Putting one last weave,
It is complete.
The tapestry of life.

SUFFERING FROM JETLAG YET LOVING IT.

2006-06-16T23:21:00.000+08:00

I AM BACK!

The trip to England was INCREDIBLE.
The places we went to were legendary.
The sights we saw were spectacular.
And the people I met were amazing.

It`s impossible to cram all that we did into one post
so I`m gonna do it bit by bit.
Starting from tomorrow ha.
Stay tuned!

Sorry Daddy, I've been a naughty girl tonight.

2006-05-31T22:30:00.000+08:00

VAUNT @ MoS last night was a blast. The whole world was there. But the best surprise was that I met Mas & company! Miss the girls so effing much. Made quite a lot of new friends. And yes, we bumped into Paul Twohill, not exactly cute, but still pretty cool. Initially I was with Imran and people, but being boys, they started grinding girls so I decided to join Mas and company, together with Mel, Russell and gang.

WE DANCED FOR SIX FECKING HOURS. But I stole a break with Egan in-between. And then we hit the dance floor again, or rather, the platform heh. My sexy mamas could soo drop it like it`s hot! Hmmm anyway I think dancing really closely with the opposite sex is alright, but GRINDING, to me, is a little extreme, although everyone on the dance floor was doing it. I`m just not comfortable with the idea of gyrating your ass against a guy`s ahem. It`s like sex, but with your clothes on. Blah!

So you can imagine how terrified I felt when a couple guys tried to grind me. They grabbed my hips and pulled me close to them while swaying to the music like it`s the most normal thing in the world. I`m like WTFFFF. HANDS OFF! NOWWW! URGH. But I didn`t wanna create a fuss because obviously, all the other girls didn`t have a problem with it. So I did danced with them without kicking them in the nuts lol, but with a distance of 3 feet.

But hey, I`m okay with girl-to-girl grinding, since you know, we have the same body parts and all. So there was quite a bit of that haha. I did the first ever slow-dance in my life that night, with Egan. I felt weird and awkward; like an adolescent kid. It got so bad I couldn`t even look at him while we rocked in slow motion. Lol yes yes go on and laugh at me.

Well the party ended pretty damn late, about 5am? We lepak-ed until 6 plus in order to save on cab fare. I reached home at about seven, with dad greeting me right at the door. Apparently, he was getting ready to go to work. It wasn`t exactly pleasant since I don`t usually come home that late and what was worse was that I smelled of smoke, cigarettes and booze. So yeah you guessed it, received quite a earful from him.

AH. TWO more days before I fly off to the UK and my packing list is still so messy. Should I bring cardigans or jackets? Jeans or skirts? Sneakers or Maryjanes? Is 300 pounds enough, or should I bring more?

Well all that can wait till tomorrow because I am awfully TIRED right now. I came back this morning and slept for about 3 hours before going out again. Came back not long ago, and here I am, all in. I`m gonna hit the sack for some much-needed rest. Night y`all.

The sun may have set, but England's dusk is full of stars.

2006-05-27T10:40:00.000+08:00

SIX MORE DAYS TO ENGLAND! Okay for readers who are lost, I`m flying to England for a literature trip for two-effing-weeks WOOOOHOOOO.

We`ll be traveling all over and visiting places like Rydal Mount (home of William Wordsworth), Rievaulx, York Minster, Shakespeare`s Birthplace, Warwick Castle, Oxford University, Georgian Bath, Jane Austen Centre, Salisbury Cathedral, Bodiam Castle, The Imperial War Museum, the Globe Theatre, Tower of London, Fleet Street, Trafalgar Square, Westminster Abbey and okay I shall stop here because the list is pretty darn long. Heh.

And because it`s Shakespeare Festival this year, England will be performing all 37 of his plays. We`ll be catching some of them. Romeo & Juliet and Phantom Of The Opera! :))) We`ll get to see how the text is performed and the transformation of words into action. Literature students out there feeling a tinge of jealousy yet? =)

AND. This was completely accidental. I found out that the itinerary states that on the 11th, we can have the afternoon free to explore London, and it so happen that BON JOVI IS PERFORMING IN LONDON ON THIS DAY IN THE AFTERNOON. I know, Perfecto, right? I asked Mr.Rozells and he said he`ll get back to me about that ASAP, so I`m still waiting for approval. For all you know he might be interested in it as well ha.

Ahhh. Two weeks out of this god-forsaken place we call home. I really can`t wait to go to England and take in the people, the religion, the rich culture, the brilliant architecture, their awe-inspiring literature and the powerful history behind this country, which I believe, all of which can spellbound you with its blinding charisma. :)))

I can almost imagine myself walking along river Thames, taking in all the sights and sounds, or up in the London Eye, admiring the magnificent view laid out in front of me; scenery so picturesque it might well have been from a postcard, or shopping in Camden, scouring for cheap and exotic finds like velvety gothic jackets and Indian bangles right now.

I AM SO TERRIBLY EXCITED.

Hell I might even come back with a cockney accent.

Hubble Together.

2006-05-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

She loved him.

He didn't know.

She wanted to tell him. She didn't know how.

"Isn't it sad," she said, "how the stars are so cold and the sun so warm."

"The stars," he said, "are just further away."

"Can they get closer?"

"... Closer?"

"Yes," she said.

He looked at her.

And there was light.

I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me everything's alright even if it's not.

2006-05-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

I haven't cried in a very, very, very long time.

Today changed that.

mama mia here we go again.

2006-05-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

This is what I witnessed this morning:
Mom was frying eggs for Dad when he suddenly burst into the kitchen.

`Careful,` he said.

`Careful! Put in more butter! Watch out! You`re cooking too many eggs at once.`

`Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh no! Where are we going to get more butter? They`re going to stick!`

`Careful… careful. I said be careful.`

`You never listen to me when you`re cooking. Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?`

`Don`t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt!`

Mom stopped and stared angrily at him.

She retorted, `What in the world is wrong with you? Why are you raving and ranting like a madman?`

`You think I don`t know how to fry a couple of lousy eggs?`

Dad smiled and calmly replied: `No, no, dear, I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I`m driving.`

LMAO.

On a side note,
My dad listens to DEEP PURPLE.
No Shit.

People can die from an excessive dose of the truth.

2006-05-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

You say you want a revolution, man
And I say you`re full of shit.
We`re disposable teens.

I become so uncharacteristically myself these days. My tired old heart is sighing a hell lot more often than usual. I am so goddamn tired of my work. It gets so mechanical I`m becoming all stiff.-think tin man, wizard of oz- Other people think all`s alive and well but I see dead things floating around everyday. It`s spooking the shit out of me. No wonder I feel dead. For all I know I might be surrounded by zombies.

I think I`m hallucinating and suffering from attacks of schizophrenia. I sure sound like it. Ah fuck I`ve almost forgotten how good it feels to be drunk.

I don`t care if your world is ending today
Because I wasn`t invited to it anyway
You said I tasted famous, so I drew you a heart
But now I`m not an artist I`m a fucking work of art.

Tyler Durden.

2006-04-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

"Sweetie give me the gun.
C`mon honey it`s dangerous."

"Bang! Bang! Daddy!
Bang! Bang!"

Bang.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Crash and Burn.

2006-04-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

What happened to the little girl,
who did nothing wrong?
The little girl in the pink dress,
she`s been missing for so long.
What happened to the angel girl,
who never lived in denial?
Where did all the laughter go,
what happened to her smile?
What happened to that princess,
who lived like there
was no tomorrow?
How did she break so suddenly,
why is there so much sorrow?
What happened to that special girl,
who had so much to give?
Where did all her innocence go,
why doesn`t she want to live?
What happened to that little girl,
who never knew of pain?
Where did all her beauty go,
why isn`t she the same?
What happened to that little girl,
with so much love in her heart?
Where did all her strength go,
why is she falling apart?
What happened to the special girl,
who had so many friends?
Where did all her honesty go,
why does she pretend?
What happened to that little girl,
who smiled everyday?
Why doesn`t she talk anymore,
when she has so much to say?
What happened to
the beautiful girl,
that everyone wanted to know?
What happened to that little girl,
where did she go?

I've changed so much; I don't even recognize myself anymore.

Abandoned. Pleased. Brainwashed. Exploited.

2006-04-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

When we were kids, when my sisters and I are at the backseat of our faux-wood-paneled station wagon, creating mayhem and wreaking anarchy, after the ineffectual sweep of a hand from the front seat misses everyone, after `If you don`t quit that bliddy racket I`ll stop this bliddy car and you`ll bliddy well walk home` has been exposed as the bluff it is, the trump card is always laid down.

`If you don`t quit this instant, no Dairy Queen!`

We calm and salivate.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream.

Oh my Darling Oh my Darling Oh my Darling Clementine. You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine.

2006-04-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

CLEMENTINE
So go.

JOEL
I did. I walked out the door. I felt like I was a scared little kid. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation. You said, "so go" with such disdain.

CLEMENTINE
What if you stay this time?

JOEL
I walked out the door. There's no more memory.

CLEMENTINE
Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.

She smiles. They kiss. It fades.

Joel finds himself hurrying back to the bonfire. This scene, too, is disintegrating. It dries up and Joel is just standing there on a faded beach at night, the bonfire frozen in the distance like a photograph.

We're disposable teens.

2006-04-15T17:05:00.000+08:00

*Finish the Sentences, Please :)*
George W. Bush is::	usually hated by those under the age of 21 in the states.
Americans are often::	loud, brash, obnoxious and good-looking. ha.
My favorite thing about my body is::	my teeth. oh shut up.
I always laugh when::	people's idiosyncrasies are waayy too obvious.
I sleep best when::	it's raining and i'm under warm sheets and kevin kern's playing in my ipod. :)
Pink is for::	that confident, gorgeous guy with a quirky fashion sense.
Blue is for::	the girl who rather play baseball than do her nails.
Cell phones are::	an absolute essential for us teens.
My favorite past time is::	star-gazing at the beach after dark.
I get sad when::	it's to my understanding that i'm way out of his league.
Children are::	irrisistibly adorable! they say the cutest things ever.
I long to::	paint the sky with my thoughts.
I wish::	people would be less superficial.
My favorite meal is::	this particular dish they serve at a Turkish restuarant somewhere in town.
Britney Spears is::	pop-queen-turned-frumpy-mom.
I hate it when::	people judge without knowing.
I get irritated when::	I wake up in the morning and realized my uniform isn't ironed.
I always::	take everyone and everything around me for granted.
Kissing is best when::	his lips are as soft as rose petals. / it's done in the rain.
Lust is::	fuelled by sexual attraction.
Once in band camp I::	-think American Pie- LMAO. kidding.
I've never, ever::	been to the North Pole.
I wish I could take back::	all those hurtful words. You know I don't mean them.
I always have fun every time I::	am surrounded by awesome friends!
I'd like to visit::	the Trevi Fountain in Rome.
I've always wanted to date someone in this profession::	Lounge Pianist/Motivational Speaker/ Fire-Fighter. hahaha.
I get embarressed when::	someone stares at me for too long.
Joan Rivers is::	4x my age and looks scary beyond reason after all that plastic surgery.
I often forget to::	switch off the toilet lights after i pee.
My weakness is::	being too quick to trust, being too gullible, being too nice.
I am proud of myself because::	I've been through more than you have.
It's sexy when::	guys have emo hair. rotfl.
My biggest accomplishment so far is::	I can count to ten in chinese! HA.HA.HA.
I get scared when::	the clock strikes three. 3am. Demonic Hour.
I smile when::	he smiles.

Poison.

2006-04-11T18:54:00.000+08:00

Your cruel device
Your blood like ice
One look could kill
My pain your thrill

I wanna love you
but I better not touch
I wanna hold you
but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you
but I want it too much
I wanna taste you
but your lips are venomous poison

Your poison running through my veins
Your poison
I don't wanna break these chains

Your mouth so hot
Your web I'm caught
Your skin so wet
Black lace on sweat

I hear you calling
and it's needles and pins
I wanna hurt you
just to hear you screaming my name
Don't wanna touch you
but you're under my skin
I wanna kiss you
but your lips are venomous poison
Your poison running through my veins

My pain, your thrill.

I don`t usually listen to trance/dance/house music except for Groove Coverage. I like the way the first part of the music video was filmed. There`s something strangely alluring about the slow strokes of cold wet ink on bare skin, the Chinese characters, the snake, her lips. Mmm.

I think there`s something seriously wrong with my left wrist. It started happening after I had hurt myself during the netball match with PJC last friday. Every time I give it a slight turn or wriggle, it goes ``pop``.

If you think that Mick Jagger will still be doing the whole rock star thing at age fifty, well, then, you are sorely, sorely mistaken.

2006-04-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

ALMOST FAMOUS.
In a nutshell- It's about a rock band, Stillwater(fictional) and a young teenage journalist who tags along in order to write a story about them for the Rolling Stone magazine. It's about the Rock And Roll Lifestyle: The drugs, the sex, the fights and all the bumps on the road to success. It is realistic, funny, touching, and one of those rare movies that makes you feel like you`ve gained something just for having seen it. It's too bad that they say rock and roll is dead, cause we could sure use more movies like this one!

"And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!"
[crowd cheers.]
"Russell! I think we should work on those last words!"
"I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music."
[a few claps]
"I'M ON DRUGS!!"
[crowd cheers madly.]

(yeah i know it sucks when the video and music aren't in synchrony.)

Blue jean baby
L.A. lady
Seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed
Pirate smile
You'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her
Dancing in the sand
And now she's in me
Always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today

Thank you very much

And you wonder why Elton John is the fucking best.

don't crumble crystal.

2006-04-07T04:46:00.000+08:00

Scream at me
Make it the best I've ever heard.

You're my everything.
You're my everything.

fuckkkkkkkk.

2006-04-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

I am a very very very sad girl because I`ve just learned that JON JONSSON was here for the Singapore Fashion Festival and PLACEBO flew in from the UK and gave a performance at that event as well. I missed them both. I feel like stabbing myself right now.

ALL YOU SHITHEADS THIS ENTRY'S FOR YOU.

2006-03-28T21:19:00.000+08:00

After a long day of lectures and tutorials, followed by tough canoeing training which ends in the evening, I`ll wish so badly that I had the ability to teleport myself home just so I could complete my assignments and gain some fucking decent rest, but I have to come back to be greeted by moronic mindless comments made by some motherfucking blog haters? Let`s refer to Jeffree Star.

You attack me again, I`ll attack back. But this time you won`t be getting back up. I`ll crush your face underneath my shoe and spit on you. I`ll wrap my hands around your neck and sink my motherfucking fingernails deep into your throat until you stop screaming then I`ll look you in the eyes and ask if you regret what you said.

Talking shit is an art form I mastered a long time ago and you`re far behind in the game. Every time you think you`re being witty by calling me a bitch, I`m laughing because you don`t make sense. Every time you say I`m ugly, I look in the mirror and smile. Every time you call me a fucking cunt, I agree. Every time you push me, I smash your face with my MAC compact.

My life is exactly what it is: MY FUCKING LIFE. So why are you pretending to be a part of it? Sorry but the DO NOT ENTER sign means YOU and I`m tired of seeing the same 14 year old faces running their mouths when they have no idea what they`re talking about.

You pretend to know everything about me when I never let you see it all in the first place. I keep myself to ME because its MINE and I`m not letting you take that away. But I will take away your dignity and I`ll eat it whole and vomit it back up. Make sure to clean up the mess.

It`s another worthless day and it`s kind of sad that I have to come back and witness more motherfuckers running their mouth. I`m glad YOU hate me because that means you`re THINKING and wasn`t that my goal in the first place? I just want you to LEARN something since YOU`RE so close-minded. Isn`t that right?

Whenever I post anything it seems I invoke a certain strange response that is shared by many, most of the time the comments I get are beautiful, well written, positive and supportive. Occasionally I will get a few that are not just nasty but so poorly written that they are embarrassing to even read.

IF CALLING ME A `BITCH` IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO, I THINK YOU TRULY NEED TO GET A NEW VOCABULARY AND INVEST IN A NEW DICTIONARY MY DARLING.

The internet is such an ugly place so filled with hate and rumors. It is what it is, and we all use it in whatever way we feel will best suit us. We all have to account for what we say. Some of us can hide behind a made up screen name. It`s easy that way. It doesn`t take much effort to find out whom someone is if we want to. Not much effort at all.

MY QUESTION IS THIS.

WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH WHEN YOU DON`T CARE AT ALL? YOU CAN`T STAND WHAT I SAY. YET, YOU CAN`T FUCKING STOP READING IT, AND WRITING SHIT ABOUT IT. HMMMMM?

YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. NOT ME.

I PUT MYSELF HERE, UNDER THIS MICROSCOPE FOR ALL TO SEE AND PICK APART. MY FLAWS ARE OBVIOUS. I DON`T HIDE THEM. I COULDN`T IF I TRIED. SHOULD I APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS I HAVE SAID? DO THEY PLAN ON QUOTING ME? SHOULD I APOLOGIZE FOR MY WEIGHT/MY VANITY? WILL IT BE USED AGAINST ME?

PROBABLY. BUT IT`S WHO I AM. IT`S ME. ALL OF IT.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. IT`S UP TO YOU. NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO LISTEN TO IT OR READ IT. NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO UNDERSTAND IT.

UNDERSTANDING COMES FROM KNOWING.

and not many people really know me...THEY JUST THINK THEY DO.

KNOW YOURSELF FIRST.

`Only a fool walks into the future looking back on his past.`

TO THE HATERS: It`s the weak ones who will always be simple to eat and kill. You seem to be so good at hating me that it`s hard to hate you back because you`re so fucking hopeless. You`re so fucking ugly. You`re so fucking pathetic.

So the story has been told and the magazine will be thrown in the trash, just like your wasted efforts to prove something that`s not even there.

Opinions with TRUTH and things to back them up are what MEANS something, not childish insults and name-calling.

You WON`T be taken seriously.

THIS IS THE END.

Some things are better left FUCKING SAID. Not unsaid.

it's MY fucking life. NOT yours.

2006-03-25T19:01:00.000+08:00

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Stop adding my friends. Stop ripping my pictures. Stop listening to the songs I listen to and then make it seem like you`re the one who discovered these great bands. Stop using my phrases and passing them off as yours. Haven`t you heard? Plagiarism is punishable by law. Stop trying to be me. I find it so fucking sad that you have absolutely no individuality.

Face it honey.

you`ll.
never be.
as cool as.
me.

Everytime you steal what I`ve made, I create more. I`m a machine, but sorry sweetheart, my battery is fully charged and I`m not going anywhere.

So please. it`ll be nice if you could just.fuck.off.

Pulling At Your Heartstrings?

2006-03-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

I was surfing youtube and I found this video. It`s a montage of Braveheart and Passion of The Christ. If you didn`t know, these two movies made me cry buckets. It`s a little extreme to place William Wallace in the same standing as Jesus Christ, but the relevance`s still there. Don`t say I didn`t warn you, the video`s very painful and heart wrenching.

MSN Conversation with Aaron.

count your blessings.(him) says:
I just finished watching the vid.
count your blessings. says:
man I wanna watch passion again.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs.(me) says:
yeah it`s damn powerful
count your blessings. says:
yeah.
count your blessings. says:
did I tell you about Gibson`s cameo in the film?
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
no?
count your blessings. says:
well you know when Christ is nailed to the cross.
count your blessings. says:
the hand that holds the nail in place, is Mel Gibson`s hand.
count your blessings. says:
cos he wanted to say that he himself did crucify Christ. being a sinner.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
whoa.
count your blessings. says:
yeah.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
that`s pretty wise of him.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
sending that message out to the rest.
count your blessings. says:
hmm you know. when Christ was being persecuted in front of the pharasis, it reminded me of the passage I read just last night.
count your blessings. says:
I read this daily devotionals every night. and last night`s one said, `there is no scene in all the Bible more majestic than our Saviour remaining silent in front of the men reviling him`.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
true.
count your blessings. says:
andd. you know after He died. His disciples went forth all over the world to spread the word. and they were all persecuted and killed too for doing that.
count your blessings. says:
like I think a few of them were crucified on a cross as well.
count your blessings. says:
but those few of them, asked to be crucified upside down, head below feet. because they felt inadequate dying the same way Christ died.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
woahhhhhh
count your blessings. says:
yeah.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
eh u know the era when Christians were thrown into the colosseum where they were devoured by the lions. limbs and legs torn and stuff. would u have confessed your religion then and suffer the same fate?
count your blessings. says:
hmm yes.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
daaammmnnn boy.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
are u sure?
count your blessings. says:
yeah i`m pretty sure.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
wow that`s fucken brave.
count your blessings. says:
I wouldn`t deny my God.
count your blessings. says:
I wouldn`t say so. I just think that`s what is expected of me.
count your blessings. says:
even though it is quite an extreme thing to do.
cuz you`re pretty like drugs. says:
your devotion is. speechless.
count your blessings. says:
lol I hope it is.

YES. GO DO SOME SELF-REFLECTION NOW.

Juicebox.

2006-03-19T14:09:00.000+08:00

Only half of Thebes Alpha showed up for the OG outing yesterday. Josie, Denise, Yolanda, Munirah, Sean, Michael, Timothy, Basil, Zong Rong, Geoffrey and myself.

We went to play pool at Funky Balls at some building next to PS. Among the girls, only I knew how to play, but I still screwed up because I haven`t been playing much. I need more lessons from my dad bah! Sean & Geoffrey were really good at it though.

We had dinner after that at:

I took this picture because those colorful bottles looked really pretty in the background, but its beauty failed to show in this photo. Oh well.

Lol bad picture I know. Josie! Tsk tsk tsk.

There was a live band playing while we were dining. The song she`s singing here is Foolish Games by Jewel. Don`t mind Daniel; the last face you`ll see in this video, he was getting all EMO. Lol.

Yolanda and Josie (those two girls sitting on the couch in the previous vid) made a song dedication to our group Thebes Alpha. The song was More Than Words. So sweet luh. Anyway the singer asked Yolanda to come on stage to sing the lines with her, but she was too shy! Heh.

Daniel joined us halfway through dinner. That wild party boy was going to go to a lingerie party at DXO afterwards. Kinky! Haha. We were so supposed to watch a movie after dinner, but -gasps-, the guys had CURFEWS. LMAO. I`ve never heard of guys my age having curfews in my entire life, till now. Feckin hilarious.

So Josie and I made our way to PS to shop, while the guys headed back.

Think College guys are cool? THINK AGAIN.

I L.O.L.O.L.O.L.O.V.E Thebes Alpha. :)

Romp @ Zouk.

2006-03-17T17:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was pretty fun. I left the house at 8.30pm to pick the guys up at white sands, but because they were not educated on the importance of punctuality, we ended up leaving for Zouk at 9 plus. -.-

The queue was damn bloody long when we arrived, and to my disgust, there were a lot of cheena ah bengs around. Ew. And so the waiting started. It was no surprised that there were a lot of familiar faces, since this party was extremely commercialized. You want names? Okay. I went with Yu Jin, Shane, Imran, David, Jonathan, Graham, Clifton, Glendon and his friends. We bumped into CY, Janice, Benjamin Kwan, Hui Zhi, Clarice, Ernest and company, some hai sing juniors, and a bunch of other people.

We made new friends while queuing haha, and there was this guy who looked a lot like Imran, so we started teasing them. His name`s EhSan, and he`s like, damn cute. Heh. Anyway, the bouncers were going to check for cigarettes, so the guys kept smoking frantically in order to finish them before reaching the entrance.

The wait was about 2 hours? There were ID checks at the door, so kiddies below 16 can/should/must leave. :) It was quite chaotic because it was supposedly an underage party, so many of them were desperately trying to borrow fake ICs. Aw.

The dance floor was quite small, but awesome nevertheless. Platforms were situated all around, and I like the way those little stairs are hugged around the main area. There were two bars, but no alcoholic drinks were served that night, which is a big boo.

DJ Foehammer was spinning Hip-Hop and R&B, the place was so packed, there was barely any space left to dance. The music was good, except for once when they played one Jay Chou song. I was laughing my ass off and going wtfff. Hahaha.

I bumped into Emerick and friends on the dance floor. And he`s looking good. Ahaha. Mmm. I realized that club dancing is so sexual. All those moves. Clubbers out there should know what I`m talking about. There were guys grinding girls, girls grinding girls, and GUYS grinding GUYS. Lmao.

Some people were drunk, and I concluded that they must have clubbed elsewhere before coming here, probably at DXO since there was an on-going party there too. Their speech were slurred and were basically rubbish. Very funny luh.

We were on our feet for about 3 to 4 hours, and boy did we sweat it out! Heh. The party ended at about 4am, and I reached home at about 5am, exhausted.

Haha, yah lah yah lah. Pictures!

The retardedly long queue.

Shane and Benjamin. Shane you look like a lil boy. And Ben, I know your little secret. :)

Yu Jin, Shane, Graham and David. Oops was someone cut off?

somebody, somebody, and Jeremy. Loll sorry don't know your names. Nway, can somebody say, 'Underaged?' Tsk Tsk.

David, Imran and Jin. Eeek she looks naked! hahahahaha.

Imran and Eh San. Separated at birth? Heh. I swear Eh San looks a million times cuter in person.

Dip it low! The dance floor.

Me & Jin. The picture's kinda blurry due to the smoke machines.

Shake ya Tail Feather! The party in action.

woman get busy,
just shake that booty non-stop
when the beat drops
Just keep swinging it
get jiggy
get crunked up
percolate anything you want to call it
oscillate your hip and don't take pity

I'm Through With You.

2006-03-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

History lecture was fun today. Ms. Koh delivered the lesson with lots of spunk and zest. And Mr. Edwin Tan looked so cute wearing the Marxism cap! Heh. Anyway did you know that the Spanish and the British actually once colonized the United States? I bet none of you knew that. :)

In between the lecture, we watched clips of Pearl Harbor and my all-time favorite war movie, Saving Private Ryan. I couldn`t watch in peace because I`m used to having DTS and the sound system in the LT was crap. Bah.

Zoe, Josie, Geoffrey, Daniel and I went bowling after that. It`s been a while since I last bowled, and my highest score was so average, about 130+. I blame the flooring. Lol.

For those still in the dark, OG outing`s confirmed. It`ll be this Saturday, 3pm at Orchard Mrt. We`ll be doing a movie, pool and dinner, so bring enough moolah okay?

What are plans for tomorrow? Weell. Here.

See you there!

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn.

2006-03-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

Had Econs lecture in the morning, was fishing out my stuff in the lecture hall when Sean took out this huge container full of gummy bears and flashed us this really sheepish grin. Freaking gay, but soo cuteee right! Hahaha.

I missed Literature since I`ve to rushed for my interview for the course, Diploma in Communications and Media Management, at Temasek Poly. When I arrived, there were already quite a handful of people waiting for their turn. Being the chatty person that I am, I started striking up conversations with people all around me. They were all so nice! Anyway, guess who came out and called for names? Daryl David! Lol. Apparently, he was one of the interviewers.

I wanted him! But I got a lady instead; it`s alright since I kinda like her. I had already foreseen what they`ll ask, like, why do I wanna get into this course, how can I contribute to it, which area am I interested to delve into blah blah blah, so I think I did fine. I talked way too much though. Lmao. I asked her frankly my chances of getting in, and she told me it`s hard to say since they have about 60 applicants and only 10 will be chosen. I`m keeping my fingers crossed. Pray for me people!

Anyway I was among the few last ones, so when the interview was done, it sort of became like a chit-chat session hahaha. I was like, `Is it me, or is that guy -points to Daryl- familiar?` Then Daryl turned to me and said jokingly, `Ah. My cousin used to be on TV!` Heh heh. I went all like, `Nooo, it IS you!` Then we all started laughing. :)

Skipped netball today, people who read my last entry would know why. Ain, go save SRJC netball team yourself. LOL. Met up with Josie, her sister, and Zoe at Cinei after my interview to catch Nanny Mcphee. I wasn`t interested in that show, I wanted to watch Munich or Capote instead, but Josie was being a stubborn ass, so yeah.

The movie was a waste of my time and money. I kept trying to laugh in order to keep myself awake. You`ll enjoy the show if you`re, what, seven? Ok the bottom line is, don`t watch it. Simple. I forgot to mention that I caught Final Destination 3 at Lido some time last week. The storyline was utter rubbish, but I gravitated towards it because of all the blood and gore. Didn`t you love the scene where the two hot girls got fried at the tanning salon? Or when those thick, long, metal nails got drilled through the chick`s head? Heh. I`m not sick lah, I just like grisly movies caan. xD

In my opinion, it should be M18, because of the nudity and gore. Yes you can see nipples. (GEOFFREYY HAHAHA) Josie went like, `I thought they will put stickers or what.` I stared at her for like the longest time ever, giving her this what-the-hell look. STICKERS? Wahahahahahaha.

Anyhow, we went to HMV at Heeren after that, and smart people would have guessed what I bought.

YES. I FINALLY BOUGHT THE USED CD. Haha. It was a tough decision though. I was so bloody tempted to buy so many other CDs when I walked past the metal music section. Nine Inch Nails. A Static Lullaby. Dream Theater. Sonata Arctica. Hammerfall. CHILDREN OF BODOM! But that particular album costs like, $43. =(

I`m happy with my buy though.But sweet people, be sweeter and get me these CDs! I`ll love you to death then. :)

Ahh. Had a pretty long day. I`m off. Sweet dreams people.

URGH.

2006-03-13T21:27:00.000+08:00

I am seriously all in. My day in school started by accompanying Josie to go for H2 math lecture and then I was off for my H1 physics lecture. It was so boring that Josie, Sean and I started passing around notes. Yes you`re right; they were filled with gibberish random stuff.

After that Josie, her friend, Sheena, and I went for the Netball recruitment thingy. I think only 6 girls showed up. Anyway it turned out that the JC2s were going to have a friendly match with SJC (St.Joseph`s Convent), and we`re supposed to be prepared for the coach might put us in. I kind of panicked since it has been eons since I last played. When the opponents arrived I was like, gaping at them because they look like they`re from the C Division. So I asked one of them, and I was right! Why the hell are 18-year-olds playing against 14-year-olds?! Gawdd.

So anyway the game commenced, and umm, how should I put this? Their standard is um, let`s just say that HSC netballers can easily win them hands down. The coach put all six of us in, in the 2nd quarter. My position was GS. I did alright, except for my shooting, which was pretty atrocious. I played GK for the 3rd quarter, and I guess I did well because the coach wanted me to play GA together with the JC2s for the 4th quarter.

By then she was already asking me what school I was from and whom I was formerly under, I replied `Mr. Tony.` and she went like `Ohh. I see. Tony ah.` I went all like, Okayy. She knows him, so I can`t smear his reputation. I have to do him proud. She made me play GS again for the 5th quarter, and GA for the 6th quarter. I was literally dying ok, my stamina was so fucked. When it finally ended, guess what? We lost. Yes all together now, WAD THE FUCKKKK.

Ain, who was formerly an Eastspring netballer, agreed with me that the netball team in SRJC isn`t very driven, and they don`t encourage their teammates! How can like that? Sigh. They`ll be having another match against MI tomorrow, and I`ve a feeling that I`m going to have to play for most of the quarters again if I were to come down. Should I go? The last thing I want is to get thrashed again.

Urgh. I have never played and lost to a C Division team before. NEVER. This is so super embarrassing for SRJC lah.

Enough said. I`m joining RUGBY.